Weekly Writing Prompt:
What is the best thing about being either single, or partnered (whichever you are right now)?
For me the best thing about being partnered is knowing I have a teammate in this game called life. Someone I can trust and count on to lend support when I need it. Someone who I know is invested just as much as I am and is working with me to achieve the same goal. Not really the most romantic answer but it’s true. If you would have asked me this question a few months ago I would’ve probably had a different answer. Recently I discovered something about myself and my marriage. You know that famous movie line from Jerry Maguire.. no, not “Show me the money”. The other famous line, “you complete me.” Yeah, I have decided I really dislike that line. Don’t get me wrong, its a great movie moment and I used to totally swoon over those words… until I got married.
However, the more I am married the more I realize my husband does not complete me, and it’s unfair for me to put that expectation on him. If I were to do so, I feel I would be setting him up for failure. Here’s what I mean by that. In the past when I was feeling sad or lonely I would look to him to fix it. But that never really worked and then I found myself just frustrated with him. Poor guy. Then finally it hit me. It’s not his job to fix those things for me and I needed to stop looking to him to fill those voids. I needed to make an adjustment. I need to take my husband out of the role of “void filler” (that’s not really a thing but.. you know what I mean) and rather see him as my teammate. I can honestly say it’s been awesome! Since I am the same for him I started to think of qualities that make a great teammate.
- They put the team before themselves
- They are reliable and committed
- They treat others with respect
- They lend support when needed
- They cheer their other teammates on
- They listen and encourage
- They communicate constructively
- They work with others to problem solve
- They celebrate the victories
- They work on bettering themselves for the benefit of the team
Hahaha wow this turned really self-help like. I promise I am not trying to write a book or anything ;). Just thought I would share some of the things Ive been pondering lately.
I would love to hear your response to the writing prompt. What is the best thing about being either single, or partnered (whichever you are right now)?
Or any thoughts on what I shared.
I have a single friend in the dating scene who is looking for a serious, even forever relationship. Recently, through online dating, she met a guy and was quite excited about the possibility. The first date went great, they had great conversation with lots of laughing and quickly decided on a second date. The second date came, a casual dinner in which he let her pay (my thoughts on that in a minute) and a baseball game. When the date was over he took her home and automatically assumed she would want to have sex. She didn’t and he was gone, not to be heard from again.
What? What happened here? Because she didn’t put out he instantly decided she was not worth his time? Is this what has happened to dating? What happened to the days of dating? What happened to the seriousness of it? Wasn’t there a time when you didn’t just date anyone…wasn’t there a time when people truly got to know each other before deciding to be fully intimate with each other.
What upsets me even more is.. have women just accepted this standard? I’m going to take a second and call out the guys… MAN UP! Stop treating women as if they are something you can shop for… if she doesn’t give you want you throw her away like trash. This is not the behavior of man, of someone who deserves an ounce of respect. If you want to have the title of MAN.. then start acting like one. Treat a woman with respect. Be a gentleman. Open doors, Pay for dinner, treasure her. She is your gift, not your prize. Even if you don’t marry her.. everyone woman deserves this treatment.
And ladies…. stop giving your goodies away to every tom, dick and harry who asks for it! Know that you are worth SO much more then that. Every women desires to be loved and treasured and they deserve it!
I know that not everyone who dates is like this guy in my friend’s story. But I feel it is the growing trend, which saddens me. I know there are still people who care about dating to fall in love, I just don’t see it very often. I have a daughter who will one day date. What will be her experience? I hope not this. I hope she can experience the delight and purity in dating. The butterflies. The joy. I hope she is not faced with the pressure of feeling like she has to give a guy what he wants in order for him to stick around. That is not love… that is not dating… that is selfishness.
Linking up with Casey Wiegand for On Your Heart
You know when life get’s crazy busy and it’s really hard to get a full date night in but you know you really need one! This was my hubby and I recently so we decided to sneak away just for a couple hours and do a little day date. Even though it was short it was a nice little breather together.
We went downtown for drinks and an appetizer. It was 2 in the afternoon so it wasn’t crowded. We took advantage of the beautiful weather and sat outside.
If you are ever in Colorado Springs there is this great little place downtown called Shugas. It’s and old house turned bar. They have amazing cocktails, so yummy! Their food is simple but delicious!
Personally, I feel, no matter how busy life gets, time together is so important even if it’s not your typical date night. Here are five of our favorite non “date night” activities:
- Having a day drink at local restaurant (make it some place unique)
- drive around and check out some open houses, its like a free parade of homes (even if they are out of your price range or you don’t intend on buying)
- go grocery shopping together, make the normal things a date. Grab some frozen yogurt beforehand.
- Put the kids to sleep and do a movie night complete with snacks and popcorn just for the two of you
- Just stop and watch the sunset together even if it’s from your backyard
Look at that handsome fella 🙂