A Valentines Day Writing Prompt

Weekly Writing Prompt:

Honeymoon 2

What is the best thing about being either single, or partnered (whichever you are right now)?

For me the best thing about being partnered is knowing I have a teammate in this game called life. Someone I can trust and count on to lend support when I need it. Someone who I know is invested just as much as I am and is working with me to achieve the same goal.  Not really the most romantic answer but it’s true. If you would have asked me this question a few months ago I would’ve probably had a different answer. Recently I discovered something about myself and my marriage. You know that famous movie line from Jerry Maguire.. no, not “Show me the money”. The other famous line, “you complete me.” Yeah, I have decided I really dislike that line. Don’t get me wrong, its a great movie moment and I used to totally swoon over those words… until I got married.

However, the more I am married the more I realize my husband does not complete me, and it’s unfair for me to put that expectation on him. If I were to do so, I feel I would be setting him up for failure. Here’s what I mean by that. In the past when I was feeling sad or lonely I would look to him to fix it. But that never really worked and then I found myself just frustrated with him. Poor guy. Then finally it hit me. It’s not his job to fix those things for me and I needed to stop looking to him to fill those voids. I needed to make an adjustment. I need to take my husband out of the role of “void filler” (that’s not really a thing but.. you know what I mean) and rather see him as my teammate. I can honestly say it’s been awesome! Since I am the same for him I started to think of qualities that make a great teammate.

  1. They put the team before themselves
  2. They are reliable and committed
  3. They treat others with respect
  4. They lend support when needed
  5. They cheer their other teammates on
  6. They listen and encourage
  7. They communicate constructively
  8. They work with others to problem solve
  9. They celebrate the victories
  10. They work on bettering themselves for the benefit of the team

Hahaha wow this turned really self-help like. I promise I am not trying to write a book or anything ;). Just thought I would share some of the things Ive been pondering lately.

I would love to hear your response to the writing prompt. What is the best thing about being either single, or partnered (whichever you are right now)?

Or any thoughts on what I shared.

 

 

 

Weekly Writing Prompt

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Processed with VSCOcam with t1 preset

When was the last time someone truly listened to you?

I think the better question is “When was the last time someone truly heard you?” People listen to me everyday and I am sure others could say the same. As a mother my children listen to me (hopefully). As a wife my husband listens to me and I to him. Listening can be rather easy. Hearing is different. To me, hearing means understanding and maybe even connecting on an emotional level. For example, sometimes when I am in an argument with my husband it is hard for me to feel validated unless I feel I’ve been heard. Otherwise I feel as though the words I’ve spoken have meant nothing. I believe that is why you meet people who can talk & talk, have a huge circle of friends and still feel utterly alone. Or why couples who have been married for 20 years can be strangers to each other. We can listen all day but are we really hearing?

To the single mom constantly complaining about how her deadbeat ex won’t help and how frustrating it is to do everything by herself. To some it can be seen as just that, complaining, you can nod and say “I am sorry he won’t help”. Or what she might really need to hear is “Yeah raising kids is already so hard when both parents are involved, I can’t imagine doing it by yourself. I hope you know you are doing a really great job and if you need any help at all please call me.”

Honestly I don’t remember the last time I was truly heard. It was more then likely by my husband and probably after an argument. And I I know there have been times where I have felt heard by one of my friends. But it does feel few and far between sometimes. Is this because we have become way to consumed with our own lives that we forget about what others might be going through. We merely listen, maybe give an appropriate response and then move on?  I’m guilty. Maybe now that I’ve dwelt on it I can change that.

 

Fit & Fabulous February

Fit and Fab 2

Well the holidays have come and gone. With all the traveling and parties let’s just say health wise I have been left feeling like blah. So I decided to create a challenge for myself for the month of February. This challenge is something I came up with on my own. It’s not a diet, more of a lifestyle change adjustment. I took a few principles from several articles I have read lately and this is what I came up with. I am actually pretty excited about it. The challenge is outlined below and I’m going to use my blog as a journal to keep me accountable. Feel free to try it with me but just know I am not a dietitian and I am not claiming in any way that this challenge will give you any results. 

Fit & Fabulous February Challenge:

Eating Program:

  • Low Sugar
  • Low Carbs
  • Minimally Processed Foods
  • Lots of protien
  • Lots of vegetables

Weekly Workout Program:

  • Two 30-45 minute workouts a week using my Nike Training Club App (NTC)
  • Two 30-45 minute sessions on my elliptical a week
  • One 15 minute yoga session a week

Specific Rules:

  • One glass of lemon water every morning 30 minutes before eating
  • No carbs after 3pm
  • Only water after 3pm
  • Drink at least 40 ounces of water a day
  • No eating after 6pm on week nights
  • No eating after 7pm on weekends
  • Complete Challenge Journal every evening but no counting calories
  • Take a Probiotic every evening
  • No soda
  • No alcohol

Specific Goals:

  • Eat more whole foods throughout my week and less processed junk
  • Eat more veggies
  • Kick my diet soda habit
  • Exercise Regularly
  • Increase my energy levels
  • More restful sleep at night
  • Increase water intake
  • Reduce bloat
  • Better my digestion
  • Tone my muscles, especially my mid-section
  • loose 4 to 5 pounds

 

So there it is! That is the challenge! Again you are more then welcome to do this with me if you would like. Here is a few things you should know.

-I will be Starting February 1st-March 1st. It is a leap year so that makes 30 days.

-My main goal in doing this is NOT to loose weight. I am expecting that I might loose a few pounds but not a ton. This for me is more about adjusting some bad habits I have developed.

-When I say no carbs after 3pm I mainly mean no grains, sweets and fruit. A lot of what we eat has carbohydrates. Some are bad and some are good. Veggies and beans have carbohydrates but they also contain a lot of good things like fiber and nutrients, so I will continue to eat those after 3pm. Fruit has fiber and nutrients as well, but contains a lot of sugar which is why I won’t be eating after 3pm.

-This will not work if you eat terrible all morning and then start eating good at 3pm. So although the only thing I am cutting out of my diet completely for the month is soda and alcohol, I will be limiting things like sweets, fast food, sugary cereals, microwavable meals and unhealthy things like that.

-Also when I do eat grains I will only be eating 100% whole grains. This means 100% whole wheat bread, brown rice and whole oats. No white flour.

-All of my workouts will be from home. If it was warmer I would include some outdoor runs and hikes but alas it’s freezing and I hate being cold. I get my workouts through a free app called Nike Training Club (NTC). It is specifically for women but I’m sure men can do it too. You can customize it and create your own program which is pretty awesome! It’s my new favorite workout app!

At the end of the month I will let you guys know how it worked!

Hello… It’s Me

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Hi. I know It’s been like over a year since I posted here… *laughs awkwardly*. Please excuse my absence. When I first started blogging I had grand dreams of thousands of readers and yada yada yada. Don’t worry I have come to my senses. I decided I want to blog because I just want to write. I love writing and a blog is a wonderful creative outlet. So to my “64” followers. Hi! I hope your still out there. I hope you will continue to read this little blog of mine, but if not, that’s okay.

As far as content it is still a lifestyle blog and I will continue to post about various things that interest me. With that said, and like I stated above, I love writing. So I have decided to add a new category to my blog; Weekly Writing Prompts. These will be varied and I will try to post one a week. Most of these are meant to be one paragraph prompts and I would love, if you’re interested, for you to join me! Feel free to post your response in the comments below. We can be inspired together! Below is the first one.

Write about your first day at your current job:

It was a perfect day in April. Some time around noon, I think? My brain was kind of fuzzy. You see the pain was extremely overwhelming. I barely had the strength to keep going. Two hours in and I wanted to quit already, but there was no going back. I could here Brandon counting to ten slowly in the background, I took one more deep breath. With everything I had, I tried one more time. There was so much pain, then finally, the sweetest relief as everything faded to black. I thought to myself, will this be worth it? But then they placed you in my arms. Perfectly round and sweet. With ten little fingers and ten little toes and the sweetest little nose. Instantly pain and struggle was forgotten and I knew. I would love this job forever.

I’m Not 20 Anymore

Since it’s Thursday I thought it would be fun to do a little Throw Back Thursday! Below is a picture of me when I was 20.

1937067_1177272801127_3763363_n-1When I was 20 I could eat french fires like it was no big deal. My hair always looked perfect even when I didn’t style it. When I was 20 I could hang out on the beach with my friends until 2am and then get up and go to work and not even bat an eye! When I was 20 I was invincible…

I’m not 20 anymore. Last night my husband and I went to a country concert. We were so excited, we were going to relive the glory days..before kids. Who cares if its a Wednesday night and we have to work on Thursday. Who cares that the concert was an hour and a half away and we weren’t getting home til after 1am. We can hang! We used to do this all the time when we were 20! We aren’t 20 anymore.

Last night was fun but today was horrible. I quickly realized after a whole cup of coffee and two coke zeros that I was probably going to feel like crap all day. I quickly realized that I can no longer stay up till 2am and expect to function like a normal person. Then I started thinking about it. The truth is I can’t eat french fries like I used to because where as french fries and I used to be besties.. we are now in a love hate relationship.  I love them, they hate me. My beautiful hair that used to be thick and flowy has now thinned and grayed (ok that’s a bit of a stretch, I have like two gray hairs.. but still!). My boobs are at my knees. I can’t see the TV without my glasses. And if I even think about staying up past 10pm I regret it!

So I have decided I’m going to just accept my fate.  I think starting a movie at 8pm is crazy! I would rather stay at home in my pj’s then visit the latest night club. For me a hot date is if my hubby does the dishes and gives me a back a rub! I’m becoming pretty boring in my old age and I like it! Maybe when the kids have grown and left the house, I’ll spice it up a bit and become a regular at my local bingo hall. But for now it’s 7pm and I’m going to bed! Whoop Whoop!

Linking up with Casey Wiegand for On Your Heart

What Happened to the Days of Dating?

dating

I have a single friend in the dating scene who is looking for a serious, even forever relationship. Recently, through online dating, she met a guy and was quite excited about the possibility. The first date went great, they had great conversation with lots of laughing and quickly decided on a second date. The second date came, a casual dinner in which he let her pay (my thoughts on that in a minute) and a baseball game. When the date was over he took her home and automatically assumed she would want to have sex. She didn’t and he was gone, not to be heard from again.

What? What happened here? Because she didn’t put out he instantly decided she was not worth his time? Is this what has happened to dating? What happened to the days of dating? What happened to the seriousness of it? Wasn’t there a time when you didn’t just date anyone…wasn’t there a time when people truly got to know each other before deciding to be fully intimate with each other.

What upsets me even more is.. have women just accepted this standard? I’m going to take a second and call out the guys… MAN UP! Stop treating women as if they are something you can shop for… if she doesn’t give you want you throw her away like trash. This is not the behavior of man, of someone who deserves an ounce of respect. If you want to have the title of MAN.. then start acting like one. Treat a woman with respect. Be a gentleman. Open doors, Pay for dinner, treasure her. She is your gift, not your prize. Even if you don’t marry her.. everyone woman deserves this treatment.

And ladies…. stop giving your goodies away to every tom, dick and harry who asks for it! Know that you are worth SO much more then that. Every women desires to be loved and treasured and they deserve it!

I know that not everyone who dates is like this guy in my friend’s story. But I feel it is the growing trend, which saddens me. I know there are still people who care about dating to fall in love, I just don’t see it very often. I have a daughter who will one day date. What will be her experience? I hope not this. I hope she can experience the delight and purity in dating. The butterflies. The joy. I hope she is not faced with the pressure of feeling like she has to give a guy what he wants in order for him to stick around. That is not love… that is not dating… that is selfishness.

Linking up with Casey Wiegand for On Your Heart

Day Date Downtown

You know when life get’s crazy busy and it’s really hard to get a full date night in but you know you really need one! This was my hubby and I recently so we decided to sneak away just for a couple hours and do a little day date. Even though it was short it was a nice little breather together.

We went downtown for drinks and an appetizer. It was 2 in the afternoon so it wasn’t crowded. We took advantage of the beautiful weather and sat outside.

Day Date 1If you are ever in Colorado Springs there is this great little place downtown called Shugas. It’s and old house turned bar. They have amazing cocktails, so yummy! Their food is simple but delicious!

Day Date 2

Personally, I feel, no matter how busy life gets, time together is so important even if it’s not your typical date night. Here are five of our favorite non “date night” activities:

  1. Having a day drink at local restaurant (make it some place unique)
  2. drive around and check out some open houses, its like a free parade of homes (even if they are out of your price range or you don’t intend on buying)
  3. go grocery shopping together, make the normal things a date. Grab some frozen yogurt beforehand.
  4. Put the kids to sleep and do a movie night complete with snacks and popcorn just for the two of you
  5. Just stop and watch the sunset together even if it’s from your backyard

IMG_3704Look at that handsome fella 🙂

 

 

 

 

July 4th Recap

The 4th is the true mark of summer for me. I LOVE everything about it. Eating yummies from the grill, the patriotic red white and blue, card games, more food, good beer, oh and of course fireworks! It was the best kind of 4th.. no agenda just friends, food and family. It was also Ava’s first time seeing fireworks and that made the experience 100 times more exciting! Every firework got a huge WHOA!

We truly are so blessed to live in this country. Thank you to all those who have served for our freedom!

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Please excuse the mess, we LIVE here…

Please ExcuseWhen I was in college and my early twenties I was go go go… never home. Between school, work, friends, having a boyfriend, events and social activities, life was crazy. Late nights and early mornings.. sleep was on the bottom of my list. Now I am exiting my mid-twenties and about to enter my late twenties with a husband, a job, my own home, and a toddler and infant in tow. And you know what, life is still crazy! But crazy in a different way. Before I was never home where as now being home seems like the best place to be and sleep seems to be my number one goal! In fact I could say life is the craziest it’s ever been but in a weird way my days are slower. They are filled with dirty diapers, copious amounts of laundry, baby stuff everywhere and one mess after the other. There are days that seem to never end where I am counting down the minutes seconds until my husband gets home. I live from hour to hour. One hour can be filled with overwhelming joy and love and the next hour seems to bring a wave of exhaustion that results in tears. I find myself with a list of stuff to do and barely any of it seems to get done.

Recently it was brought to my attention by someone who is close to our family, in there opinion, I am not doing enough. That of course is the condensed version and I will not divulge further on what transpired because that is not what this blog post is about. But of course upon hearing this I was devastated. As a wife and mom my biggest insecurity is that I am not doing enough. I hate that I am so exhausted all the time and I wish I could be the super mom with the immaculate house, cultured kids and dinner on the table every night. But this is not who I am. Upon processing what was said about me I realized a little something about myself. I would rather sit down and play with my kids then do the dishes and there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes I need a little extra “me” time in order to keep my sanity and there is nothing wrong with this either. It is who I am and it is what works for me.

I am not here to pass judgements on other moms, in fact I believe there needs to be a little less comparing and judgment passing within the mom community. Being a mom is hard, really hard and really rewarding at the same time. You can never fully understand or appreciate motherhood until you become a mom. I have had to learn a big lesson ( a lesson I am still learning) it’s called Grace. Grace for myself, grace for my kids, grace for my husband and grace for others. Simply put.. we are all a little imperfect and that is ok.

I am not sure if I decided to write this because I am still trying process or even self justify. A part of me thinks the real reason I wrote this post is for YOU the reader. Maybe you are a mom or dad who feels like you are constantly failing, maybe you see others and can’t help but feel a little less than. I hope you know you are not alone. I hope you know that there is someone out there who understands your struggles and your fears! I want you to know that you are doing a good job and it is ok if you do things differently.

In end life is always a little crazy, but for me, at the end of it all I think what will matter the most are the relationships. I know my children, when they are grown, will appreciate more the time I spent with them rather then the time I spent “doing things”.

 

Linking up with Casey Leigh for On Your Heart